07480 120 801‘Joy does not simply happen to us.
We have to choose joy
and keep choosing it every day’ – Henri J.M. Nouwen
One choice + one decision away
I describe myself as an optimist – and one who looks out for joyous moments to celebrate.
Most of my joyful moments follow from spending time in nature and with with people.
Being an optimist, makes people think that being happy, positive and optimistic comes naturally or easily to me.
And because I often radiate a joyous positive energy, many assume that I am always cheerful, outgoing, engaging, and fun.
But I can tell you: this is not true.
What is true though, is that every day, I spend conscious time and energy in choosing and deciding the feelings and thoughts I want to spend my focus and energy on.
I do this, because I know very well that when I feel down, it could spiral down further if I were to dwell on it.
And when I feel up, I create more up-energy and feel better, get more things done and do them with more joy.
For example:
1. I feel anxious.
I investigate it.
If it proves useful or based on sincere reasons, I will act on it.
If not, I will emotionally feel it, physically sense and locate it and rationally dissolve it.
2. I feel tearful and depressed.
I find out why.
I allow myself to decide if I need some more TLC-delve-into-it time, or if I can gently dissolve it.
Most often the above explorations-choices-decisions moments take a few hours.
But there are times when they occupy me for several hours spread over several days.
When these moments happen they do not worry me, because they are natural, a part of living a life and of being human.
And above all: they are temporary.
The moments indicate where & what I can spend loving, healing, compassionate energy on.
With giving my ‘downs’ positive attention, intention and energy I continuously heal, help and manage my within.
Exploring my feelings and down moments, helps me to know myself fully and live honestly.
By exploring and discovering the sources, locations and reasons for my feelings, I empower myself to understand and manage the impact of my thoughts, self-scripts and assumptions.
This helpful skill I realise, actually makes me a proud ‘self-made optimist‘, not a ‘lucky or natural optimist’ ;))
You too, can practise using the empowering skills of exploring, choosing, shaping and dissolving of your down or deconstructive feelings.
Creating positive and constructive feelings and thoughts = 1 choice + 1 decision.
What you want is also 1 choice + 1 decision away from being in your life.
Joy, like my other values, is closely connected to my key value gratitude.
It follows from my honesty value and positively affects my trust and growth values.
My core values move in a circular interconnected fashion all the time.
My values + breathing + nature + connections = keep me grounded.
I share the above to show you that you too can build your own unique tools, skills and trust package to manage your thoughts, feelings and actions.
You want it? Choose to create it
Where there is a will, there is a way.
So the saying goes and yes …. it is true.
And this saying goes for anything.
Really, a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g.
Send your positive creative energy to what you want until you feel it & then you can have it.
As soon as you focus your energy on e.g. joy
- joyful and happy making thoughts,
- doing things that make you feel joyful,
- spending time with people who share their joys,
- joyful memories
- and on consciously feeling more joy within …
Joy enters.
And Joy’s positive energy will brighten you up, help you relax and make you feel sooooo much better :))
Feeling sooooo much better, will also give you a greater influx of ideas, solutions, motivation, determination and …. a will to succeed.
A joyful, optimistic, positive outlook creates fresh energy, opportunities and choices.
And like joy attracts more joy.
More joy attracts more achievements.
A joyful fact, right? :))
Imagine your joy
Take a moment to imagine shaping a better reality and a better present.
Take a moment to see your joyful self, impacting your life and inspiring others.
I believe you can imagine it.
I believe you can feel it.
Imagining and feeling it, is where it all starts.
Join me :))
‘You will succeed if you persevere
and you will find joy in overcoming obstacles’ – Helen Keller
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Celebrating a client’s moment of pure joyWith the clip below, I want to show an example of the joy that followed from one of CFW’s unique journies. You hear me talk just after an exceptional moment: my client Lara’s coaching journey was complete.
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The background:
Lara started coaching with me from a place she described as being stuck in a deep black hole.
A hole filled with grief, stress, depression, anxiety and lack of self-love.
She felt no confidence, no self-esteem, had lost her voice and suffered from chronic anxiety and depression.
The combination of how she was thinking and feeling made her struggle at work, at home and in social situations.
It stopped her from enjoying her life.
Sometimes she felt so low, that she thought she could not keep on going with living.
We would coach fortnightly and often out in nature together with my dog Milly. And whenever weather or personal situations made our outdoors face-to-face not possible, we would coach over Zoom or WhatsApp.
However, during a call (after a year of coaching) her pride, radiance and joy was totally bubbling over!
During this conversation – which preceded the clip below – she had been jubilant about how she had developed, grown and changed her way of living:
- no more all consuming black holes, but open mind spaces and choices.
- no more hiding and masking, but freely expressing her thoughts, feelings & needs
- no more shy and quiet, yet fiercely confident in wanting to be heard, listened to and to be seen
She also shared how she had noticed that her changing, had inspired her family to also become more connected, brave, honest and outspoken.
And then a truly Over & Beyond Magic Moment she described to me … the moment she stopped a stranger from committing suicide:
A distressed woman had stopped her and begged for help: a man was standing on the railway track intending to commit suicide.
Without hesitation, Lara ran towards where the man stood.
Connecting. Speaking. Acknowledging. Understanding. Sharing.
Lara, described how she had used all of her coaching gains, especially her anxiety coping techniques, her new confidence, her brave free voice and also her personal suicide knowledge.
When the man eventually stepped off the track, Lara said how in that moment she fully realised how far she had come :))
I spontaneously filmed my after-glow-celebrative reaction, which I sent to Lara straight after our call and which she enthusiastically proposed I place here for others who are looking for support.
What an unforgettable coaching conversation that was for Lara. And for me. And also for us.
What a magically precious and privileged moment to have been present in as her coach.
Each time I think of it, I feel smilingly silent within.
Clients telling me they are doing so well, they no longer need me – are my favourite moments.
They make me feel like Nanny McPhee :))
‘There is something you should understand about the way I work.
When you need me, but do not want me, then I will stay.
If you want me, but no longer need me then I have to go.’
Nanny McPhee
I am a member of EMCC and abide by the Global Code of Ethics.
