07480 120 801‘Joy does not simply happen to us.
We have to choose joy
and keep choosing it every day’ – Henri J.M. Nouwen
One choice + one decision away
I am an optimist who looks out for big and small moments to celebrate.
Because I often radiate a happy energy, many people assume that I am always cheerful, optimistic, outgoing and fun.
But I can tell you that this is not true.
What is true though, is that:
Every day, I consciously choose what to spend my focus and energy on.
I do this, because I know very well that feeling down, can spiral further down further if I dwell on it.
And feeling up, creates more up-energy and feeling better, which gets more things done and done with more joy.
For example:
1. When I feel anxious, I investigate it.
If it proves useful or based on sincere reasons, I will act on it.
If not, I let myself feel it, physically sense and locate it and rationally dissolve it.
2. When I feel tearful and depressed, I find out why.
I decide if the reason needs some TLC-time spend on it, or if I can gently dissolve it.
Moments like those descfribed show where & what I can spend loving, healing, compassionate energy on.
With giving my ‘downs’ positive attention, intention and energy I continuously heal, help and manage my within.
The above exploring choice & decision moments take their individual time needed to settle.
When these moments happen they do not worry me, because they are natural:
a part of living a life and of being human.
And above all: they are temporary.
By exploring and discovering the sources, locations and reasons for my feelings, I empower myself to understand and manage the impact of my thoughts, self-scripts and assumptions.
This helpful skill makes me a proud ‘self-made optimist’, not a ‘lucky or natural optimist’ ;))
You too, can own the empowering skills of exploring, choosing, shaping and dissolving of your down, negative or deconstructive feelings.
Creating positive and constructive feelings, thoughts and actions takes 1 choice + 1 decision.
What you want is also 1 choice + 1 decision away from being in your life.
You want it? Choose to create it
Where there is a will, there is a way.
What you put in, you get out.
So the sayings go and they are true.
E.g. As soon as you focus your energy on feeling joy:
- joyful and happy making thoughts and feelings enter your mind
- you start doing things with more joy
- you spend more time with people who are joyous
- you want to experience more joyful moments
- you will feel joy more often and for longer
When you find your way and when you get out what you put in, you feel sooooo much better.
And feeling sooooooo much better also gives you a bigger influx of successful
ideas
solutions
motivation
and determination.
A joyful, optimistic, positive outlook creates fresh energy, opportunities and choices.
And like joy attracts more joy.
More joy attracts more achievements.
A joyful fact, right? :))
Imagine your joy
Take a moment to imagine shaping a better reality and a better present.
I believe you can imagine it.
I believe you can feel it.
I believe you want it.
Imagining and feeling, is where change starts.
Join me :))
‘You will succeed if you persevere
and you will find joy in overcoming obstacles’ – Helen Keller
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Celebrating a client’s moment of pure joyWith the clip below, I want to show an example of the joy that followed from one of CFW’s unique journies. You hear me talk just after an exceptional moment: my client Lara’s coaching journey was complete.
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The background:
Lara started coaching with me from a place she described as being stuck in a deep black hole.
A hole filled with grief, stress, depression, anxiety and lack of self-love.
She felt no confidence, no self-esteem, had lost her voice and suffered from chronic anxiety and depression.
The combination of how she was thinking and feeling made her struggle at work, at home and in social situations.
It stopped her from enjoying her life.
Sometimes she felt so low, that she thought she could not keep on going with living.
We would coach fortnightly and often out in nature together with my dog Milly. And whenever weather or personal situations made our outdoors face-to-face not possible, we would coach over Zoom or WhatsApp.
However, during a call (after a year of coaching) her pride, radiance and joy was totally bubbling over!
During this conversation – which preceded the clip below – she had been jubilant about how she had developed, grown and changed her way of living:
- no more all consuming black holes, but open mind spaces and choices.
- no more hiding and masking, but freely expressing her thoughts, feelings & needs
- no more shy and quiet, yet fiercely confident in wanting to be heard, listened to and to be seen
She also shared how she had noticed that her changing, had inspired her family to also become more connected, brave, honest and outspoken.
And then a truly Over & Beyond Magic Moment she described to me … the moment she stopped a stranger from committing suicide:
A distressed woman had stopped her and begged for help: a man was standing on the railway track intending to commit suicide.
Without hesitation, Lara ran towards where the man stood.
Connecting. Speaking. Acknowledging. Understanding. Sharing.
Lara, described how she had used all of her coaching gains, especially her anxiety coping techniques, her new confidence, her brave free voice and also her personal suicide knowledge.
When the man eventually stepped off the track, Lara said how in that moment she fully realised how far she had come :))
I spontaneously filmed my after-glow-celebrative reaction, which I sent to Lara straight after our call and which she enthusiastically proposed I place here for others who are looking for support.
What an unforgettable coaching conversation that was for Lara. And for me. And also for us.
What a magically precious and privileged moment to have been present in as her coach.
Each time I think of it, I feel smilingly silent within.
Clients telling me they are doing so well, they no longer need me – are my favourite moments.
They make me feel like Nanny McPhee :))
‘There is something you should understand about the way I work.
When you need me, but do not want me, then I will stay.
If you want me, but no longer need me then I have to go.’
Nanny McPhee
I am a member of EMCC and abide by the Global Code of Ethics.
