07480 120 801I used to describe myself as an ‘Olympic Procrastinator’.
I would make it sound like a joke, whilst inside I would feel anxious, embarrassed and ashamed.
Because I know I am one of the very very very many who suffers from the effects of procrastination, I want to share a few personal words about this global human phenomena.
Many names
Google synonyms for procrastination and you will find:
Fifty one synonyms and antonyms, shows how present it is.
Fear related
I began to transform my debilitating, immobilising procrastinating habit when my marriage was falling apart.
It was then when it became vital to look myself in the eyes.
And I made myself some huge & healthy promises – the first one was to face and deal with what scares me.
I recognised that my procrastination was all about fear.
Fear in each of its many different size, form and shape – was causing my avoiding and delaying of doing something.
My fear and I spent some serious me-time whilst gradually unmasking my scared thoughts and feelings.
My fear convinced me to listen to the voices in my head.
My inner voices would say things such as: stop faffing; just get on with it; it is not that hard; pull yourself together; you’re making excuses; ‘just do it’; you are pathetic …
These voices would
- overwhelm me
- put me in a state of panic
- make me feel stuck, unable, weak, scared, overpowered
- make me think I was a failure.
Logically, engaging with these voices made me feel only more upset with myself.
So my self-criticising lead to nothing.
But my self-study of my fear did!
Managing my fear started with identifying and understanding my voices.
Instead of criticising myself, I started asking myself questions.
My questions lead to understanding my thinking and feeling.
Sometimes 1 or 2 questions were enough.
Sometimes I asked myself tonssss of questions to figure out the reasons for my state of fear, panic, hesitation or paralysis.
And as soon as my reasons became clear, the fear would dissolve, be manageable and chunkable.
Always.
Questions such as:
- what is stopping me from starting or completing this task?
- what am I afraid of?
- why am I feeling afraid?
- what could be the results of not doing this task?
- what have I already done successfully that can support me now?
- why am I feeling tearful, anxious, useless?
- where in my body, am i feeling my fear?
- what will help me to feel less freaked-out?
- how important or urgent is the task?
- who can help me if my fear feels like it is staying put?
- how true is what my voices are saying?
What also worked wonders for me when stuck in procrastinating or feeling overwhelmed, was … breathing.
Slow and deep.
Breathing with focus on within.
To this day, my dissolve-fear self help steps still are: breathe, reflect, feel, understand, choose.
Understanding my fears is my game-changer, because it transforms my procrastination into being aware that I have power & choice.
Dissolving procrastination with understanding, empathy and kindness to oneself, creates positive space and constructive energy to get the job you were delaying to do done.
With gentleness to oneself, the delayed jobs get completed faster, often better and always whilst feeling … happier :))
Procrastination is learned behaviour
&
Fear is not real
The above statements also hugely help me, because they remind me that I can change my procrastinations (at any time and at any speed) into to-act-or-not-to-act choice moments.
Realising the impact of having choice, was incredibly liberating and empowering.
And still is today :))
Many years later, my strategies still help me stand in a my own strong place.
My strategies are personally effective to me which.
They support me to give my fears the attention, empathy and energy they need.
And by doing this, they cannot settle permanently within me, nor grow into a trauma or deep engrained anxiety.
Procrastination is a learned behaviour to manage fear.
We all know fear is a feeling.
And it can be such a strong feeling that we feel it physically. This makes us think it is real.
I have taken ownership of my procrastinations thanks to understanding they are left-overs from times of feeling stress, anxiety, fear and insecurity whilst lacking support and empathy.
Now, I know how to give myself the support and empathy I need to manage and control my procrastination.
Now, I know to see procrastination as a powerful self-help & self-know tool.
Now, I feel independent and able from my within.
Now, I give myself an Olympic Gold medal for each time I conquer a fear-moment.
Shaped by our thoughts
When I bump into moments of procrastination today, I feel efficient, confident and comfortable with facing it and with taking action.
Feeling ashamed and embarrassed has changed into feeling brave, strong, proud & empowered.
Ironically, you might be procrastinating at this very moment …
Is it your turn to manage and transform your powerful procrastination?
:))
